Everybody is a Little Bit Cynical

A couple of nights ago as I drove home from work, I heard a couple call into the radio station.  They had met two weeks ago, got engaged on Saturday, and then instead of waiting went ahead and got married on Monday.  They sounded so happy and excited, yet all I felt was horror.  Firstly, because they met on Craig's List, which I suppose is a good way to meet someone as long as you don't accidentally get on the page "Looking for Girl/Boy who will let me collar and walk them like a dog."  I just can't imagine being able to find true love on a site that offers, "I don't care what you look like, I don't want to know your name, I don't want you to call me, just come and fuck me."  How can one really expect much when you constantly have to navigate away from those pages is beyond me.  (I'm, for the record, not talking about all love sites.  I know one couple who met online and they could never be happier.  Actually you would never think that they met that way, as perfect as they are for each other.) But somehow these two found each other through all the pop-ups.  It scares me a little that Craig's list may have become an actual, reliable source for meeting that special someone.  Has it become so hard to meet people that we have no choice but to meet electronically now?  It's something like, 1/3 of marriages today met on sites like Eharmony.  I don't know which is worse, the fact that that many people need a website to meet or that that company makes that much money!  I do agree that it is hard to meet people.  I was single for four years!  My last relationship that lasted past two months (present company excluded) was in High School.  That really had me questioning the idea to move on from my High School "sweet heart" for quite a while, trust me!  Was it just luck that I met my current boyfriend?  He says that he is lucky because he met me.  I told him he is just lucky that he was drunk enough to call me over to him and his friends that night.  He is also lucky that I was in a friendly mood because usually I don't respond to strange men calling me (I promise Mom and Dad!).  To me it just seems really ridiculous that after four years of dating one "your really awesome girl Ally, but..." guy after another, that the man of my dreams was RIGHT NEXT DOOR!  And I don't mean, he moved in a week or even a couple of months before we met.  We have been there for the same amount of time.  That's two years!  And before he lived there, his best friend lived there so he was over there who knows how much.  Not that I'm  not extremely glad that I met him, but it just seems a bit cruel to me.  But I digress....does meeting someone organically require the hand of God to come down and grace us with divine intervention?  By not being on a dating site, are we just gambling our lonely lives away?


The second thing was how quick their marriage was.  What's the rush?  I just don't understand, if; you love each other that much, no one is dying, and you just met then why not wait?  There are so many pieces, big and small, to a relationship that should be savored and enjoyed.  I'm not saying that marriage does not hold these things, but a dating relationship has it's own separate from that of marriage.  For example:

1. Your first fight, I know doesn't seem like something to enjoy or look forward to but think about it.  Once you have that first fight so much changes in the relationship.  When you have your first fight, you say all these things and the other person stays, they don't run away and give up.  They stay and hash it all out with you and you are a stronger and closer couple for it.  That was something I actually missed while single.  I missed getting into fights because that is a true sign of a relationship.  When I was in single land just having dates, you couldn't pick a fight when they didn't call after they promised that they would.  Your dating.  That would seem too dependent and be "scary".  When you fight in a marriage, especially over something small, you know that they are going to stay.  They may sleep on the couch or at their mothers but divorce is a very long process that takes years.  The chance that "You didn't take out the trash," will actually end in divorce is small.  
2. When they ask you to move in.  If you are married, of course you are going to live together.  That is a given (hopefully).  When your asked for the first time to share a space with someone, it is such a wonderful feeling.  This person actually wants you around them as much as possible.  You are the first person they want to see every morning.  
3. When they propose.   It's the same as when they ask you to move in.  However, it should be something special.  Thought out and heart felt.  The couple I mentioned earlier had only been together a month when the question was popped and under the circumstances I know it was both.  I just really want, when I'm asked, for it to reflect our time together.  For the person asking to clearly know me so well that when he asks, the way he asks, leaves me no doubt when I say yes.  I am a hopeful romantic ok, I want this one moment in my life to be a story I can tell my grand kids and have them sigh in a reflective manner as they dream of the same thing happening to them one day.  I know what your thinking, "With the right man, it won't matter," and your right it won't matter because the right man will know me so well that he won't second guess himself or me.  After only two weeks, I would imagine it just comes off as rushed.

All this said, I know of plenty of couples in the world that met and quickly got married.  It happens, sometimes you just know.  I know that my relationship is on a fast track right now.  Is marriage in sight anytime soon?  No.  Those who fell in love quickly, they all met in different ways as well.  I guess what I'm asking you is to think about how you came to know the love of your life and then think about your child coming up to you and saying the same thing.  You would freak!  I know if my kid came up to me and said "I'm dating my next door neighbor and I'm in love with him," that I would be worried.  Love is given to us in all different ways and it's not my place to judge.  I promise I'm trying as hard as I can not to.  But what it comes down to is.....everybody is a little bit cynical.  I just can't help but think that it's not possible for a relationship to be good and strong if it's built so quickly.  I imagine all those houses that were built quickly and cheaply.  It isn't long before cracks in the foundation begin to show.  Maybe it doesn't matter how long you wait, maybe it's just how I was raised, and maybe the only reason I was raised that way was so my parents could keep them to themselves as long as possible.  I know I don't know the answers and even if I did they would be proven wrong and change any ways.  Well, I'm spent on this topic.  Be safe everyone.  Thoughts on the new layout?  I felt it was time to get ready for fall.  I'm excited, are you?

Is it us, or them? (Old School vs. New School)

I bumped into an old High School friend of mine last week for the first time in two years.  It was extremely good to see him and catch up.  That said, I learned some very disturbing news about his whereabouts for the past two years.

This friend and I pretty much grew up together.  We met in Middle School but didn't really hit it off till High School.  We had many classes together throughout the years, but the one thing we shared most, in time and love, was Theatre.  We had class together and where in many plays together.  As students in High School, we both did really well in our classes.  I rarely made lower than a B and never lower than a C.  He made A's and B's if not better.  In Theatre, strictly, we both excelled in that as well.  I got almost every lead in our school musicals and he was a teachers favorite and got into every play he auditioned for.  We both helped as much as possible on and off the stage and were well loved by our Theatre teacher.

So it came as no surprise that we both went to UNCG for Theatre.  He went for Acting where as I went for Theatre Education.  We both loved our classes and did what was asked of us and more.  Yet it was never enough.  It seemed that the harder we worked to please our departments, that the only thing we got in return was more stress and disapproval.  I got out and switched to English Education.  I don't stay where I'm not wanted.  And even though I had, no excuse me, have more drive and desire and love for Theatre and teaching than many of the students in that program, they decided that they didn't want someone like me.  So I left.  I unfortunately did not get out soon enough and two years in a bad major with a bad adviser has left my GPA unsightly and little left to be done with.  So now I have to transfer, and I always thought that that would be scary.  However, I am ready to get away from UNCG more than ever.

My friend, however, stayed in the program longer.  Rejected by the board for the BFA program, (Bachelors of Fine Arts, basically told to incoming students to be the only way to get a job as an actor and they only pick 12-15 students a year.  I have been told by those who went through it that it was a waste of time and money) mainly because he didn't look like the kind that they take into the program, was forced to stick with a BA in acting.  Not a bad choice as you can still take other classes in other fields and actually have other majors and/or minors.  But BA's can only take up to Acting 2 (it goes up to Acting 4) and don't get parts in UNCG plays because those are reserved for MFA's and BFA's so there is really no way to get your face out there. Plus, those in the BFA program get to go to Spotlight there senior year.  This is where UNCG takes them up to New York for a cattle call audition (multiple directors looking for actors in there plays).  You can imagine that as an acting major, how important something like this would be!  There was no way for him to get out there and get a job, so he was looking at nothing but rejection and failure.

(I hope my friend doesn't mind me telling you all this, but you guys don't know who he is and I really think it is important for all of you to know what is going on in your schools.)  After two years of this, he had a break down.  He went to the Dean to get a leave approved and get out of his classes without penalty.  He was only going to take a semester off, but once he took the time, he got worse.  He had to check himself into a facility to get better.  He ended up being out of school for two years!  He is better now and back in school.  Not for Theatre though!  He is doing better now but he has had a ruff ride.

I have had my share of break downs due to school and how much shit it has put me through.  I can't blame it all on others but it's not all my doing either.  I know of many people who have successfully graduated from UNCG with little to no problems, but they were in different majors with much better advisers (not to mention some where much smarter than me, but not all of them!).  If you have a kid or know a kid, don't let them go to UNCG for Theatre.  I really wouldn't let them go there for anything really.  So many of my friends now have admitted that they wish that they had gone somewhere else for College.  I'm not even saying that it is easier elsewhere, but the drop out rate of College seems to be going up.  I know we need to know how to do our jobs, but I have to ask, how much is too much?  How much pressure on the student today is too much?  My parents told me how, when they were in school, every teacher had a "test bank" that had old tests of every teacher and could be accessed by anyone.  They use to get together and use old tests to help them study.  There is no such thing at UNCG.

With the teachers that I have had in the past, I can honestly say that there is no way in hell that they had it this ruff in College.  If it was, they never would have become teachers, trust me on that fact!  Is it because of the incompetence of those before us that has caused for a crack down on us as students?  Or as a generation are we just not as smart and hard working?  I would like to see what would happen if you took some of the teachers and actors today and put them back through the current system and see how well they do.  I doubt many of the Actors would pass (mainly cause many of them never went to school, at least not for acting) and I can personally name some teachers that would fail miserably.  I realize that College isn't for everyone, but with mine and my friends track record through all of the other schooling we went through, nothing says that College wasn't for us.  So why is the system kicking our asses so much?  I ask you, readers, is us?  Or is it them?

A Day With The Guys

Howdy. I feel like the worst blogger, I post something one day and then months later I decide to contribute again. I promise I’ll get better. Some things have changed with me so I feel like I should update my “profile”: I’m still 23 (the big 2-4 is slowly creeping nearer), I’m officially a Brooklyn College grad student (I got my student card yesterday…I’m thinking about “accidently” losing it and just paying the $5 fee to get another one), and I have recently got myself into a fun, yet serious relationship. Details may come later.

To the point: I was recently going through some things and I remembered that I had started writing a blog post a little while ago and knowing that I hadn’t posted in some time, decided that I would like to share it. Keep in mind when I was writing this I was still completely single, although that may be quite evident in the first sentence.

Et voila:

Since I haven't been plagued with a series of relationships to fill my time, I've made some very good friends, some of those being male. It's come to the point now that I'm treated more as a guy with the guys than as a girl. It's a lot of fun sometimes, but others, slightly unnerving.

Example: I was at a friends, consisting of 2 guys and myself. Of course the topic at hand between my friends were girls: who they thought were hot, who they wanted to bone, which physical features they enjoyed best on women, who they thought were hot (reiterated on purpose), on several occasions referring to women as 'animals' (not in the good sense.), and who their next conquest was going to be. I will admit, the majority of this conversation was quite funny, but there wasn't much for me to do but sit there and listen to all of this. My polite self just sat there and smiled, but the woman inside me wanted to punch the shit out of these people. True, I probably have more things in common with my male friends than I would to any various random girl yet to completely degrade women to a point where they are nothing but objects of a perverse male fantasy isn't exactly something I care to listen to or witness. I'm sure they wouldn't exactly appreciate being alone in a room with several girls as they incessantly guy-bash and talk about all the guys they want to sleep with and in which positions. As I was sitting there I couldn't help think about their ideas of beauty and how far fetched they are, forcing me think that any average girl would be the result of a pity date and/or lay. I know it’s naïve of me to think that personality should count most, but wouldn’t it be lovely if it did? Now don’t get me wrong, looks are a major deciding factor, I mean first impressions are mainly based on appearance, and then the deal is sealed after the first few minutes they open their mouths and their personality comes out. Though shouldn’t personality count a little more than a perfect body, a little more than the perfect breasts, a little more than the perfect abs, more than the perfect hair?, and you get my point. I feel like physical appearance gets all the attention while personality has become the ousted step sister waiting for her day to be noticed.

I guess I’m just wondering if the majority of guys out there think this way: ass and tits over personality. I know that not all of them do, it’s just scary to think that there’s such a shortage of real, not-into-all-the-bullshit guys out there.

P.S. Food time!!! Roasting things in the oven has become one of my new favorite hobbies. Its so delicious, roast anything and everything! All it needs is just a little bit of olive oil and some salt and pepper. I found a recipe that has roasted grapes that I’m dying to try. If you have something you don't know how to prepare, try roasting it. Try it -you won’t be disappointed!

Religious Freedom

Watch out readers, I'm about to go political on you with a side of religion.  This could get ugly!

I'm sure everyone has heard about the Islamic Center that is to be built near the World Trade Center site.  You've heard about all the protesting and all the rallies.  I have to ask, how many of the people there now protesting this center know anything about Islam and it's relation to the terrorist attacks?  Its seems to me that they are confusing Islams with radicals.  Radicals are the ones who took out the Trade centers and the Pentagon and Radicals (many forget this part) are also the ones who have bombed other Muslims.  By bombing Muslims, that sets them apart from other Muslims for it would be counter-productive of them to bomb themselves.

My boyfriend is Muslim and I told him honestly that I was a little scared of his faith, simply because I grew up in a world of 9/11.  I always hated those who held a prejudice towards anyone of the darker skin.  It angered me to hear others speak of "towel heads" like they were all responsible.  That said, I always feared the religion simply because I felt it held a lot of power over it's followers.  I thought for a long time that those who partook in the attacks were drawn into it by their religion.  That Osama looked at them and said that it was their duty as believers in Mohamed.  I told this to my boyfriend and he wasn't offended or mad.  He simply looked at me and explained that those who were responsible for the terrorist attacks were bad Muslims.  "They look down on other Muslims because they think that in some way, they are better Muslims than the rest of us.  That they have a better faith and understanding of the religion. That they are special and deserve to be treated as such."  He also told me that they are easy to spot!  They are the ones who look snidely at other Muslims at the Mosque.  (I can think of many Christians who have done the same thing!) 

When ever something like this happens, one really has to ask, do we really have religious freedom?  Sure we can believe whatever we want, the Constitution says so.  But the Constitution doesn't keep us from holding prejudice against those who are different in their religion.  We pity those who are different because they don't know that they are in the wrong religion but who is to say what is the right religion?  I don't understand why there has to be a "right" religion (That question is for you boyfriend)?  When you really get down to it, and look simply at the religious aspect (not the practice of the religions) the main difference between Christianity and Islam is, they believe that Jesus was a prophet, not the son of God.  They don't denounce his importance just his title.  Realistically none of us can say whether or not he was the son of God.  The Bible says that we are all God's children, what if the Bible, by calling him the son of God, just meant that he was one of us,  another child of God?  The main point of this is not to question Jesus as the son of God or as a prophet.  My point is that they believe in God just like any Baptist, Jew, Mormon, Moravian, Purists, Catholic, and even Satan worshipers.  There really is no religious difference just religious practice.  Why can't that be seem as something beautiful?  Whats important is to have a belief and have faith.

 Anyways, the point is in reality, how much religious freedom do we have?  If Muslims, who were already part of the community when the attacks happened and when many worked in both the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, can't build a center to celebrate their religious freedom two blocks from the northern edge of the 16 acre WTC site, which is still half a dozen New York blocks from the edge of the North Tower, then what religious freedom does anyone have?  When they wrote the Constitution, did they mean religious freedom if we all like the particular religion?  No it does not.

Gingrich was quoted saying, "Nazis don't have the right to put up a sign next to the Holocaust Museum in Washington. We would never accept the Japanese putting up a site next to Pearl Harbor. There's no reason for us to accept a mosque next to the World Trade Center."  Does anyone else see they extreme problem with this statement?  The Nazis, as a whole, where responsible for the Holocaust.  The group known as the Nazis, began and carried out the Holocaust.  You wouldn't say no to a German convention center near Holocaust Museum in Washington.  The Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor.  The war lords decided to force America into the fight and sent bombers to Pearl Harbor.  You still wouldn't say no to a Kabuki Theatre in Hawaii!  The Nazis and the Japanese are not even an example of religion!!!  The Radical Terrorist happen to be Muslim they were not Muslim Terrorist, there is a big difference.  The religion that the terrorist are is not what makes them terrorist.  If that were true then my boyfriend would have to be a terrorist and trust me people, I am not that desperate.

Changes

Hello follow readers.  I'm sorry that it has been soooo long since the last time I posted.  Between two jobs and the play I was in, I really haven't had time for anything.  The new format of the blog is for the new leaves of summer.  It brings about many changes.  Along with changes in one's life.  For example, I'm now in a relationship.  Yes readers, I now have a boyfriend.  I honestly never thought it would happen to me, well not so soon.  I really thought it would be a long time before I met someone.  Funny thing is, he is my neighbor!  Honestly I was a little creeped out by him and his friends at first when they moved in.  I allowed myself to be shy and a little bit racist (but every bodies just a little bit racist right?).  You have to understand, he's Moroccan and they speak Arabic, so of course I honestly thought that they were Middle Eastern.  So they were strange and different to me.  Of course that is now one of the many things that I love about him.

My point in telling you all this is the story of how this relationship started for me.  We met one night while him and his friends were having a bar-b-que and they called me over.  We talked that night and then every night after that.  He is a gorgeous, exotic, and sweetest man I have ever met, so I couldn't understand what he could want from me.  I thought he just wanted to sleep with me as that tends to happen with the men I date lately.  They just use me and move on.  I've even seen pictures of some of the girls that he didn't choose to even date for some reason, and they are beautiful.  So I couldn't see why he wanted to be in a relationship (which is more than what he offered those other girls) with me.  I know what your thinking; either it's "it's not all about looks," or "your a beautiful girl".  Forgive me for being down on myself but lets be honest, we are all our own worst critics.  Anyways, I didn't want to let him in.  I refused to believe that it was real and created a wall around my heart so that he couldn't get in.  Me!  The girl who has always believed in love and always rooted for love, was afraid of even trying to let someone love her.  I didn't realize I had let my past allow me to get so jaded.  I didn't even realize it, I thought that maybe I really didn't want to be with this man.  I spent a full 24 hours away from him and everyone else in my life and really thought about it.  I didn't understand it; here was this beautiful man who was so nice to me.  We had know each other for a week and he was already trying to take care of me which no one has ever done save for my parents (but that's their job right?).  The next night after we kissed for the first time, he gave me this necklace.  It's nothing special really just a gold chain, but his sister gave it to him so even though it itself is simple it is really special.  I was REALLY uncomfortable with him giving it to me, but then he looked at me and said "No, this is not cause we are together.  We can break up tomorrow and you would keep this.  This is because you are different" (I'm typing it word for word; English is not his first language).  I was so surprised that I was so guarded and distant from him.  After thinking about how he treats me and how I felt, it hit me.  I wasn't letting him in because I was afraid.  I had allowed my past relationships (past failures and heartbreaks) stop me from allowing myself to fall for him.  Once I realized this the walls just collapsed away and my real feelings flooded in like a typhoon. 

How many times have people passed up the opportunity for something great just because they were scared?  I'm not just talking about relationships, I'm talking about life.  We all get scared of many things in our lives.  We face so many choices through out it.  What it really comes down to is, what will you regret?  Will you regret not; taking that job or internship, meeting that friend or making that friend, going to that college, or given that person a chance to be with you.  I could have just been shy and unfriendly to my neighbors and never met my now boyfriend.  Regardless as to how my relationship ends, I'm never going to regret it because he loves me more than anyone ever has and I love him more than anyone else.  Do you have regrets?  Regrets are hard to live with, but I feel that I have none simply because I learned something from all of my experiences.  So maybe you didn't take that job, that trip, that relationship, but I bet you won't make that mistake again.

The Query of the Engagement Ring

So for someone without any real prospects of getting engaged any time soon, I am utterly fascinated by the power of the engagement ring that most people never consider. I say this in two respects: 1) the sexist symbolism of the engagement ring and 2) the personality of an engagement ring which can make or break a relationship.

I'll start with item one. I feel like I should preface this by saying that I have always been gunning for that big, beautiful diamond. I'm a woman, I like shiny, pretty things, I want my ring!

BUT, with that being said, the nature of the engagement ring is highly sexist. Women wear an engagement ring as a way of saying to the world "I am off the market" before they ever actually enter into the legal and/or spiritual bonds of marriage. Men, however, do not do this. Instead they walk around for whatever amount of time they are engaged appearing no more taken than they were before they ever met their fiance. So why is it that a woman has to wear a "marker" of her taken status but a man doesn't? Why does she have to be inadvertently labeled as someone else's property but a man doesn't?

My solution: men get engagement rings too. You could say that we could abolish the engagement ring all together but I like the idea of a couple expressing their commitment to one another through a subtle yet visible piece of jewelry. I just think that if a man is willing to dedicate himself to wearing a wedding ring with his beloved, he should love her enough to show his commitment in the same way she does while they're engaged.

Item two: how intimidating is the engagement ring? I mean seriously, ladies, if a man gets down on one knee and opens the box to a ring you can't stand, what do you think? I guarantee you you're thinking "how does this man who thinks he knows me well enough to marry me not know me well enough to get me a ring that I like?" And as a man doing the shopping, I have to imagine a similar thought goes through his head. (Of course this assumes you are following the traditional gender roles of a man proposing to a woman). Basically, that little ring packs a whole huge punch of a message, and I can't help but think that's as intimidating as it is remarkable.

So there you have it ladies and gentlemen, a terrifying but hopefully thought provoking analysis of the all important engagement ring. But I do think in all of this it's important to remember that what matters most is each persons relationship and how each couple chooses to handle their level and expression of commitment. Just remember to be happy.

The Horse or the Cart?

Do our relationships define us, or do we define our relationships?  I'm sure it's different for everybody, but if one is unhappy with their current love life then it's a question that one has to ask.  If your relationships define you, then you need to pick your relationships more carefully.  If you define your relationships, then it is you that you have to change to be happy.  I think it's hard for our relationships not to guide our future choices, especially our first relationship.  I think it is something like the question of, "which came first, the horse or the cart?" or if you prefer "the chicken or the egg?"  You can always rationalize either answer, but can you do the same for your relationships?  You may think, well I chose who I want to date, but have you ever thought as to why you are attracted to that particular person?  If you think, I just don't want to date the same person over and over again, do you still find that type of person attractive?

I am someone who's relationships define her.  If your relationships define you, then you will never allow yourself to get into the same relationship twice.  Ever since my very first boyfriend, I have never been able to date anyone like him.  I can't even date someone who looks like him in any sort of way.  I am instantly turned off by them if they bare the slightest resemblance.  I think back to my past relationships over the last four years and you know how they always say that hind sight is 20/20.  Well looking back I can't find a single one that didn't scream disaster from the start.  That said, I have always been picky from the start.  I've never like to think that I just jump into a relationship and I never like someone from the first meeting.  I believe that love at first sight happens, but I'm not someone who has it.  Maybe some day I will experience it, but I'm not going to sit around waiting for it.  I always have to get to know someone before I would date them which kinda defeats the purpose.  Maybe that's what I'm doing wrong, instead of thinking that I'm cautious, I'm actually jumping in.  I'm not dating, I'm going straight into a relationship.  That is what is wrong with my relationships.  Not to mention that the guys that I jump with really counted to three and watched while I jumped all by myself. That said, I also have to ask myself that even though ever single one of these guys are completely different, is there something about them that caused them to end the same way?     

If you define your relationships, you need to ask yourself why I pick those relationships?  Most likely you need to sit down and figure that out about yourself before you can move on from these relationships that do nothing but hurt. 

It goes without saying that your most important relationship is with yourself.  If you fear that you being too independent keeps you from having a good relationship, then I would have to say that the people you are with are just too weak to deserve you.  Once you figure out what makes you happy, then you can find someone who will share that with you.  Course it has been my experience that finding that person is easier said than done! 

I feel that this is subject is not done...lets see what is said about it and I may continue further.

The Empty World

I feel it hit me.  I don't ask for it and I don't expect it.  There is nothing I can do.  It's like a bad trip from a drug, all I can do is wait it out and hope it passes soon.  It's loneliness and it's like Venom from Spider Man, it latches on to me without my permission and turns me into a different person.  I turn into this needy, weepy person.  The life drains from me and I scrape around like a zombie.  It can be triggered by many different things, all of which are unavoidable.  A friend cancels their plans with me, a couple being cute, seeing an old lover who has moved on to someone new, or a on-radio grief counseling show.  No one (currently in my life) can make it go away, I can't just call up a friend for it just wouldn't do the trick.  I also fear that it would create a co-dependency.  I'm afraid that I already have one co-dependency with relationships. Luckily it doesn't happen that often, but that also causes it to knock me even more off my game for it's unexpected.  I hate that I feel it.  I have a great life; wonderful friends, loving parents, two jobs, school, and many hobbies so many people in this world have so much less than me.  I barely have time for anything else, so why does my life feel so empty at times?  Do I really need anything else?  Many of you may argue, "yes, you need that special someone in your life!"  I'm not saying that's not true, what I'm saying is just because I don't have "him" does everything have to feel so....less?  I think it's stupid and silly that anyone could feel this way and I hate myself for feeling like this.  The only thing I can do about it is let it pass.  So I sit and type this, eating mint chocolate chip ice cream and watch Pretty Woman.  I watch as Richard Gere climbs up the fire escape to kiss Julia Roberts and think "how unrealistic".  I can't help but wonder, why can't it be like that?  The romantic aspect, not the unrealistic part (a hooker ending up looking like Julia Roberts and a rich man falling in love with her).  I can't decide if thinking that romance is dead and that stuff like romance never happens in real life is; smart or cynical?  I'm sure that will be a question that may never be answered.  Plus it's late and I really don't want to think about this any more tonight.  So I switch the T.V. over to Futurama to try and cheer myself up.  Dammit!  It's the one about Fry's dog.  Well so much for that idea.

Floating in a Sea of Taffita and Silk

I have recently noticed a trend in my high school peers, they are all getting married.  It seems that every time I get on face book, I find another old school mate who has tied the knot.  A lot of them either never seemed to date in High School or they dated a lot in High School.  I wonder if I will ever get use to seeing my friends getting married.  It just seems so strange to see my peers, people I've know most of my life and are my age, doing something very grown up.  As if I didn't feel like the only single girl left as it is!  Not to mention it just seems so far fetched that someone my age could find bliss with another person seeing as I am so far from marriage.  There is not a single person in my life that I would consider marrying.  And what about the whole "marrying young" issue?  So many marriages end in divorce, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.  But with the odds against marriages as it is, I wonder how many of my friends will have divorced and re-married by the time I finally get married.  When my mother got married (at age 25), many of her old high school friends were surprised to find that it was only her first.  That fact use to shock me as a child, but now I wonder if I will go through the same thing.  All that said, I feel that I should probably clarify something.  Before all you fellow readers freak out and worry, I'm not worried about getting married.  I know (at least I hope) that I will get married someday.  It's when I'm 30 that I'll start to get worried.  Till then, I'm happy with where I am.  I can't help but wonder if I would feel any different if I was in a good relationship?  Would I be ok with idea of getting married so young, cause lets face it 21 1/2 is pretty young to be getting married.  I mean I've always felt that it is an age that it's a possibility.  My conditions for when I'm ready to get married are:

 1. Be at least 21, I feel that you should be able to drink at your own wedding.
 2. Be finished with college.
 3. Have a job of my own.
 4. Have been together for at least two years.
 5. And before we officially tie the knot, have lived together long enough to know that we wouldn't kill each other.

This is not a guide line for others or set in stone, but it's just what I would need to feel that I was making a good choice.  I wonder how many of my now married companions put this much thought into it or if they had this many provisions to know that it was right?  Many would say that you would just know, but how many of them ended up knowing that they needed a divorce?  I guess only time will tell to many of these questions.

Tag: by Josephine

This will be a quick post, I just had a funny conversation with a friend the other day about tagging men. Pretty much, if they are jerks: tag them! Thoughts?

Apparently there's already a rating system a la Yelp out there...

Sorry, It's Been a While!

Yes, I realize that it has been a while since I have contributed to this blog.  I don't even know if anyone besides my other blogger friends reads this!

So I have recently tired to throw myself back out into the dating world.  I should probably explain.  Almost a year ago now I got my heart broken.  It was savagely ripped out and I haven't been quite the same since.  My heart wasn't the first broken and it won't be the last.  It wasn't worse than any other heart break, but if you've had your heart broken then you know it feels like no one has ever felt that bad.  He looked me in the eyes, told me I was special, and that he loved me.....and I fell for it.  Hook, line, and sinker.  Of course it was all a lie.  I guess I just wanted it all to be true too much.

Anyways, back to the present.  I'm now ready to face it all again...or so I thought.  It's not even that I've been out of the loop that long, I just realized what I need from the opposite sex and lets face it, it's hard to get anything from them.  I've had, lets say two adventures, that have been the closest to any kind of relationship in a year.  Which given what they actually were, is pretty sad!  Lets call them One and Two.

One:  Very good looking, smart, and a little (not much) older than me.  I met him through a friend a while ago but at the time that I met him I was still carrying a heart that was in two pieces.  He seemed nice enough and was actually sane (this friend has some strange male friends).  Every time I would see him, we would sit together and talk about everything.  It was nice.  So I developed a crush.  Whenever I got a chance I would go to see him and hang out.  However, he didn't do the same.  I started to feel that my crush was one sided.  I talked to my friend and she assured me that he is really good at hiding who he likes.  This "man" would be great at poker cause I don't see any interest at all.  I really need someone who isn't afraid to show how he feels about me.  This part is the real kicker.  My job allows me to see movies for free, so I take him and some other friends.  After the movie, we are at my place and I was picking on my guitar.  Now grant it, I'm no Jewel.  I can play one song really well.  But I'm working on it.  One looks at me, mid song, and says "I think you should just hire someone to play guitar and you just sing."  I could have hit him, and I never hit.  I could have punched him right in the face and not shed a tear till after the adrenalin stopped and I realized how much my hand hurt from hitting his thick skull!  Needless to say, I'm over my crush.

Two:  This guy I've known practically my whole life.  He is very good looking and very smart.  Unfortunately he knows this.  We went to school together.  He was there for me through many of my dark times.  He use to be my best friend.  What can I say, I fell for him.  Somewhere between High School and College, our relationship changed and we became more than just friends.  Then one night, we kissed.  Well made-out...for the whole night.  Then of course, he got scared and bolted.  I was so hurt, here is this person that knew me.  He had seen me cry and had seen me laugh.  There were no secrets, no acting like someone else to get his attention or to hide who I really am as to not freak him out.  He saw me and liked me for who I was.  And he left me.  I felt for a long time that I wasn't good enough.  I later came to realize that he wasn't good enough for me.  He froze me out so I blocked him out of my life so I didn't have to deal with his coldness.  I kept up with his life through friends.  I heard the good, the bad, and the ugly.  And there wasn't much good.  But I still cared about him, sadly.  He started going to my College this year and I've bumped into him.  Then he started bumping into me.  We started talking again and next thing I know, he's over at my place.  Same couch, same time of night, but different girl.  We talk all night and cuddle as well.  He talks about how he is still attracted to me and how he wants to sweep me off my feet.  I'm a skeptic, well within my rights!  He sleeps on the couch and I go to my bed (I felt that needed clarification.  After all my parents do read this!).  Morning comes, he leaves.  A week goes by and I get no word.  Then me chats me on FaceBook, tells me he noticed my number (that I sent to him via FaceBook) but didn't and couldn't do anything about it that night cause he may have "company".  It's like his only goal is to fuck with my mind.  I really wish I hadn't started up with him again.  He hasn't changed and I have, even though he fails to see it.  I know all this yet I still can't just completely cut him out of my life.  He has all the power.  All I want to do is have the chance to tell him that we can be friends or he needs to be a man and be what I need the man in my life to be.  I don't mind just being friends, but as it stands, he can never give me what I want past friendship.  Right now, he can't even give me what I need from a friendship (He's not even a good friend)!  It's still all about him!  I really wish that he would grow up but I can't and won't wait around for him.

These are what I have to look forward to?  Men who are cowards?  Where are the real men?  I know your out there, or at least I hope you are!  I need someone who can commit for at least five minutes.  I'm not talking about a life time, just long enough for us to figure out that we don't want to or do want to be together.  The men lately won't even do that much.  I know it's not me.  All this shit that I've put up with in my life, I've gotten that much from it all.  Why are men so scared?  I get it, love is scary.  Trust me I know.  I was so scared when I finally felt it.  I was scared that I was going to get my heart broken and I did!  I survived.  I know that it's hard to believe that you men can be as strong as this little girl, but it is possible.  Just be mellow.  Let life happen.  Take your running shoes off for a hot second and relax.  Stay a while.  Worse thing that could happen is that I will smell your sweaty feet.  I'll let you figure out that metaphor.

Oh Seattle- by Josephine

Well, first off, in response to Nat's post: Sandra Lee: sent to torture the whole world with her butter cocktails and sour cherry meat sauces....cringe....

Now, for those of you who don't know: two of the single girls were recently reunited! My dear Ally came to visit me in Seattle this past week. Hopefully she had fun, but it was typical Seattle weather and a little more chilly than it has been. Of course, they leave and its sunny sunny sunny. Figures. Anyway, as friends often do, we had many conversations about boys and dating...mostly over drinks and/or ice cream. Where to start?! Pretty much, Seattle sucks for a single girl. Oh its busy busy busy and great fun as a city, but if you don't just want a one night stand you're (pardon the pun) screwed. What makes it more interesting is this: couples are EVERYWHERE. It seems to be the place to go when you are young and newly married. If you aren't, god help you. At least it was a mild winter.

Here's something it took me a bit to learn living here:

Guys here are far too slow and noncommittal. I have many stories if anyone wants them. To further my point, I went out with my friends last week and met someone from South Carolina who immediately told me that he felt sorry for me because guys in Seattle are wimps. It seems that the odd passive aggressive tendencies in Seattle even abound in the dating world!

I am aware that this probably makes me sound like I hate Seattle, I don't. It's a great city for a thousand reasons! However, I do find that the men have too much power in this city. Pretty much, straight women far outnumber the straight men. This means that they pretty much have their pick. So, straight men of Seattle: be happy you have such power and wield it well!

By the way, a friend of mine has this posted on their facebook page and I thought it was a perfect example of Seattle-ness: "[other places] people say things, but in Seattle, there's this strange culture of wordlessness, wherein I am supposed to guess what one is feeling by the slight raise of an eyebrow or the beginnings of a frown." - Grey's Anatomy

Hi.

Hello All. I feel like I should introduce myself a bit before I completely dive in head first in this thing. I'm 23, a recent college graduate, unfortunately a full time jobber, hopefully a soon-to-be grad student, a lover of fine food and alcohol, and I've been single longer than I care to honestly mention. But I’m going to. I actually thought about this the other day, I haven't been in a serious relationship in. . .lets go with 6 years. It has become more of a way of life and less of a relationship choice.

I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I haven't had the opportunity to be in a relationship within the past several years, I have, there were several flings but never anything I’ve really wanted bad enough. I'd have to say that about 90 percent of the time it's me who doesn't want to pursue anything, and the rest is why I don't try hard enough.

Nowadays I feel like an old lady who has to go to sleep by 10 to get up early enough to get to work the next day, so the thought of having a boyfriend seems exhausting. It’s 9:47pm right now and the first thing I thought was, oh shit, I should get to bed. This isn’t something I wanted to happen to me just yet, especially so soon after graduation.

But let’s talk about something more interesting….food! Cooking is one of my favorite things to do and my mother found a delicious recipe and I plan on making it in the near future for a couple of people. It’s not really on a student budget, but it’s worth making at least once.

Cider-Brined Pork Chops with Creamed Leeks and Apples

Bon Appétit September 2001

By Sanford D’Amato

Makes 4 servings

Ingredients

4 ¼ cups apple cider

3 tablespoons coarse salt

6 allspice berries

1 bay leaf

4 10-ounce bone-in center-cut pork rib chops (I actually prefer the pork chops without the bones, just because it’s easier.)

4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) butter

5 large leeks (white and pale green parts only), thinly sliced

1 cup whipping cream

1 ½ pounds Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored, halved, each half cut into 4 wedges

2 tablespoons sugar

½ cup chicken stock or canned low-salt chicken broth

½ cup Calvados (fairly expensive apple brandy made in France. Not all necessary, but tasty with the apples. And it’s nice to drink after dinner.)

Olive oil

Preparation

Bring 4 cups cider, salt, allspice, and bay leaf to boil in large saucepan, stirring to dissolve salt. Cool completely. Place pork in 13x9x2-inch glass baking dish. Pour brine over. Cover and refrigerate overnight.

Melt 2 tablespoons butter in heavy learge skillet over medium-low heat. Add leeks and sauté until tender about 7 minutes. Add cream and simmer until slightly thickened, about 3 minutes. (It took me longer) season to taste with salt and pepper. (Creamed leeks can be made one day ahead. Cover and chill.)

Melt remaining 2 tablespoons butter in large nonstick skillet over medium heat. Add apples and sauté 10 minutes. Add sugar and sauté until apples are golden, about 6 minutes longer. Add stock, then Calvados and remaining ¼ cup cider.Simmer until liquid thickens slightly and apples are tender, stirring occasionally, about 5 minutes. Set aside. Prepare barbecue (medium heat) or preheat broiler. (I might sear each pork chop on each side for about a minute on high heat and then put them in the oven at 350 until done.) Brain pork. Rinse under cold water; pat dry. Brush pork with oil. Grill or broil to desired doneness, about 5 minutes per side for medium.

Meanwhile, rewarm leeks, thinning with 1 to 3 tablespoons water if necessary. Bring apples to simmer. Spoon leeks onto plates. Top with pork, then apples.

I thought the creamed leeks and the apples might have been weird together, but they aren’t at all. It’s soooo good.

Something for you to ponder until next time: Sandra Lee: evil incarnate sent to earth to torture foodies –or all of civilization?

How Does One Love?

This is a question almost as old as "where did we come from," how does one love?  The most important love that we will ever learn is how to love yourself.  We are taught to not be vain, which I fear most of us mistook for not loving ourselves.  It's alright to think your pretty or talented or funny.  It's alright to find yourself as a whole attractive.  I don't mean how you look necessarily.  I also mean characteristics.  I want you to think about two things (at least) that you like about yourself.  One about your looks and the other about you.  For example, I like my butt and my voice.  If you can't think of anything, think about what others have told you that they like about you.  Take into account how many people have said it, were they rational people, and if you trust these people's opinion.  If all these add up to a good answer, then ask yourself, "Why don't I feel/think that way about me?"  There is no reason not to believe your friends, they won't lead you wrong.  It's not vain if it's true!  Now you don't have to go around thinking that you are the greatest or coolest person in the world, but you should think that you are awesome.  So have you thought it through?  What do you love about yourself?

I really only feel sorry for this girl...by Josephine

Hi! This is Josephine here, for those of you who don't know I am a twenty three year old grad student from North Carolina living in Seattle. I've definitely noticed a few things about being single in our world today, and I'm excited to join my friends in this fun blog!

So, I ran into this story (link below) a few weeks ago and it just made sense to use my first post to bring it to people's attention. See, here's the thing: we all play roles in our lives and we all make adjustments to ourselves to impress others. There is no denying this. The boy you like likes you in that sweater? You'll probably be seen in that sweater more than you have beeen since you bought it. Hell, he likes your hair longer and you'll probably grow it out. But come on, there's a line to how much anyone can be expected to adjust or change themselves for others, and this most definitely crosses it:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylYEzRUWCxs

I really do only end up feeling bad for the girl, if she were my friend I'd like to think I'd bitch slap her. It's just sad that there are people with such a delicate self-esteem and a need to be loved that they will go to this length. Even more sad is the fact that its only grasping at a frayed thread. The boy will probably never go back to her, or have sex with her once (maybe even a few times) for the novelty if she's "lucky" and then leave her. Then she'll be stuck, alone, with the consequences...

Sounds corny, but you really do have to love yourself (or at least be okay with yourself) before
a) you can really love others and b) others can really love you.

So, if your friend decides that they need to do something this extreme to win someone back (boy or girl) please do them a favor and bitch slap them. k? k.

Perturbed by "College Dating" By: Tara

I recently posted this article response on my facebook.

I find the New York Times article titled "The New Math on Campus" about college dating, specifically at Carolina, a little perturbing. There's no way I can think of to sum this annoyance other than to adress 8 quotes directly. I'd like to think most people would agree with me on this one.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/07/fashion/07campus.html


1) "The experience has grown tiresome: they slip on tight-fitting tops, hair sculpted, makeup just so, all for the benefit of one another, Ms. Andrew said, 'because there are no guys.'”

Response: This has ALWAYS been true. Men never notice every little detail of what women wear/do, only women notice that. Women need to do themselves the favor of getting dressed up for THEMSELVES, because if you're doing it for men it is a) not gonna help that much and b) stress your lack of confidence in yourself.

2) “My parents think there is something wrong with me because I don’t have a boyfriend, and I don’t hang out with a lot of guys”

Response: Do these same parents think there's something wrong with their sons for not having a girlfriend? Seems to me girls get a lot more pressure to find a partner earlier than men. Your daughter is in college, she is young and clearly smart, let her be a 21st century independent woman for while...pursuing Mr. Right doesn't necessarily make him show up faster.

3) Jayne Dallas grumbled that the population of male undergraduates was even smaller when you looked at it as a dating pool. “Out of that 40 percent of men, there are maybe 20 percent that we would consider, and out of those 20, 10% have girlfriends, so all the girls are fighting over that other 10 percent,” she said. Needless to say, this puts guys in a position to play the field, and tends to mean that even the ones willing to make a commitment come with storied romantic histories.

Response: This is an insulting to statement to one group of men...THE NICE GUY.
I COULD be wrong about this, but I'm just gonna guess that you're attracted boys who are particularly pretty and often immature/not as considerate of their relationship as they should be. Because the truth is, this "10% of men you would consider" left is probably the 10% you deem worthy of the time of day...not that you would ever notice the quiet guy who dresses kind of funny and strikes you as socially awkward. He may be all those things and he may not be, but he also may treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Problem is you'll never know if you don't make the effort to find out: is he really just a super weirdo, or is there a charming guy waiting to be noticed?
I'm not saying change who you're attracted too, or that all pretty boys aren't nice, but consider what you say before you say it when you talk about the percentage of available men.

4) As for a man’s cheating, “that’s a thing that girls let slide, because you have to,” said Emily Kennard, a junior at North Carolina. “If you don’t let it slide, you don’t have a boyfriend.”

Response: Two words girl: SELF RESPECT! You say if you don't let it slide you don't have a bf, I SAY if he cheats on you he's not much of a bf to begin with!

5) “Women do not want to get left out in the cold, so they are competing for men on men’s terms,” she wrote. “This results in more casual hook-up encounters that do not end up leading to more serious romantic relationships. Since college women say they generally want ‘something more’ than just a casual hook-up, women end up losing out.”

Response: Repeating response #4, SELF RESPECT! Get what you want and need on your terms...if you want a relationship, don't give the guy the whole package deal the minute you meet him!

6) “A lot of guys know that they can go out and put minimal effort into their appearance and not treat girls to drinks or flatter them, and girls will still flirt with them,”

Response: It saddens me that this is totaly true...eww.

7) “Guys tend to overshoot themselves and find a really beautiful girlfriend they couldn’t date otherwise, but can, thanks to the ratio,” said Austin Ivey. He himself said that his own college relationship lasted three years. “She didn’t think she would meet another guy, I didn’t think I would meet another girl as attractive as her,” he said.

Response: Double ewwww! Boy searches for particularly attractive girl, boyappears to pay little heed to anything other than said attractiveness, boy gets girl because girl thinks this is as good as it gets. Just eww.

8) In terms of academic advancement, this is hardly the worst news for women — hoist a mug for female achievement. And certainly, women are primarily in college not because they are looking for men, but because they want to earn a degree.

Response: FINALLY, a statement I can get behind!


To all undergrads, Carolina and beyond, we are pretty much all under 25 yrs old.
I quote the ultimately bad with one redeeming quote movie "The Sweetest Thing": Do not go looking for Mr. Right, go looking for Mr. Right Now. And sooner or later, if it's meant to be, that now part will just fade away naturally.

Tara K :)

Why Don't You Just Settle! By: Ally

Feeling the Heat

This was my latest post on Facebook. I posted this right before I made the Blog.

So I've been thinking of making this into a Blog. However, I am a busy girl. Plus, lets face it, I'm only one type of single girl. I would say that I'm the stay at home romantic. So I was thinking that I should get more girls to help with more points of views (and adventures!). So this is a request for help that I'm sending out to Tara, Terri, and Natalie. Think about it ladies, between the four of us we are similar, but very different. We are different ages, go to different schools (or are out of school), and are in different places both in life and on the map. I feel that together we could make a very well rounded Blog. Not to mention you are all adorable so I know that it would translate into your writing. Let me know what you guys think!

Now to get to the point of this article! Why is it that women are pushed to find Mr. Right? I began to wonder this several weeks ago, but it was refreshed in my mind when my friend Tara Lowe wrote a note on an article that I'm guessing was published in her school paper.  Apparently someone wrote an article about college dating and the overall message seemed to be that if you (a woman) are not settling, you should!

The reason that I began to wonder about the pressure on women is because of my mother. Now don't worry, my mother really puts no pressure on me. That said, I do believe that my parents worry about me being in the dry spell that I am. A couple of months ago, my dad asked me to go with them to a church that we went to YEARS ago. We stopped going because they began to get too political. In fact they took advantage of my parent's hospitality. So why my parents wanted to go back was a mystery for me. Till my father continued on what advantages going to the church would have. He mention that I could go to this "singles" Sunday school group. He continued to say things like, I may meet a nicer guy if they were in a Sunday group. This may all be true, but my problem is that my FATHER is trying to set me up. This worry again reared it's head when my mother thought I said a boy's name one night when I was leaving to hang out with a female friend. She almost jumped for joy till I corrected her on the name.

It really isn't that uncommon for a girl my age to be single in our generation. I realize that this is not necessarily the case when my parents were my age. In fact they were engaged to each other at my age so I understand the difference and the fear that they may have for me and I still love them very much for it. That said, I don't understand people from our generation feeling the need to settle. The article that Tara posted on suggested things that were outrageous! Like letting cheating slide and staying with someone cause you feel that you may not get any other offers. The worse one was having casual sex with a man when you want something more just because it is all you can get. All of this will only lead to pain. Yes there are exceptions that live outside of the fairy tales. I've known of some women who started out as just casual sex and have now become long term girlfriends. The difference is, is that they wanted the casual sex, they weren't doing it to try and win a relationship.

My point is, don't settle! Do whatever you want with your lives, your young (yes you are)! Have some life experiences! LIVE!!! Don't be trapped by expectations. Go out, meet people. Don't just go to meet Mr. Right. I know that it happens for some people, but when you go to a bar or to a party don't expect to "meet" anyone. Lets face it, most of them are just there to hook up or are already there with someone. NOTICE: I said most for my male readers out there! When you go out, there is no shame in dressing up. If you want to feel pretty (as I know I generally do) then dress up. Go for it! But if you don't feel like dressing up then don't. No one is going to like you less for it. I mean if someone does happen to take a shine to you when your say in your sweats (don't go out in your sweats!) just imagine what they do when they see you dressed up.

In the past, I was not the person to ask about this sort of thing. I was all about being in a relationship. In reality, I was really unhappy the whole time because of it. Now, I have I guess you could say, embraced my single life. I can honestly say that I'm happy with the way my life is. Yes, I still have moments where I feel lonely and wish I had someone special in my life and yes, I still have moments where I dream about a perfect man. It's only natural for us to and there is nothing wrong with it. But if you let that loneliness and dream control your life, it's a problem. Besides, the likelihood that you are going to meet someone just sitting around your house feeling sorry for yourself are even less likely. Now if you go out and do the things you like, not only will you meet people, but you will meet people that you already have something in common with cause they are out doing what you like to do too. They may not be Mr. Right or even a Mr., but they will be someone that you can hang out with and feel a lot less lonely. Now if you want to go out and get laid, then go for it! More power to ya! There is nothing wrong with that either! Just be careful!!!

So to all my single ladies (and gentlemen) on the approaching couples holiday, if you are feeling lonely don't, cause there is someone out there feeling the exact same way. Whether they are male or female they are feeling the exact same way so give them a call. There is no law that says that just because you are not in a couple that you have to be alone. So call up that friend and enjoy them for who they are and forget about who their not.

P.S. if you feel that there is someone who needs/wants to hear this or any other of my postings, please feel free to send it to them and let me know to include them from now on.

It's a start! By: Ally

To Get  the Ball Rolling

This started out as something I wrote on Facebook.  Many of my friends have encouraged me to make this a real blog.  So these first couple are repeats.  Something new is that this blog now includes a few new writers.  I have confidence that they will do just as good if not better than what I already began.  I hope that whom ever you are will enjoy this! 

Hey there friends. This is a testimonial to my world as a single girl. I've been single for a while now and it doesn't really look like that is going to change anytime soon. So I've decided to start writing about my adventures in Single Land.

So as I go through life, I've began to notice a common theme. Every man that I meet is taken. I almost don't even see the point anymore. Every guy that is good-looking, smart, talented, and funny (All the qualities that I need) are already in a relationship. It just seems to me that if they are too good to be true, they are. A couple of my friends, upon telling them that cutie pants number 289 is also taken, suggest that I go after them anyways. I have been the home wrecker way too many times and usually it only ends up with me being hurt. What is the point of me meeting these great guys who I would be perfect with only to learn that they are already taken? I'm sure that there are so many other girls dealing with this exact same problem. I would just like to say that, you ladies out there that "own" the men of my possible dreams, congratulations you are amazing. It must be really nice to be able to have this amazing men that care about you. I can only hope that some day I have someone like that.

I've also pretty sure that all my great friends are taken as well. I'm really starting to feel like the last single girl on the planet! Not having a guy sucks, but not having any of my friends sucks even more. Being the third wheel is ok, but having to watch you guys be all lovie dovie makes me feel even worse. Yes, not all of you are bad but you are all guilty of having more than one love fest in front of me. I am really glad that all you guys are happy, it makes me happy to see it. However, don't expect me to be like, "Yeah! Another make-out session? Alright!" I mean it is getting to be so hard to get you guys away from your men. I think I just need to put my foot down and say no! No to the third wheel on your dates. If you guys want to go out together thats cool, I understand, I would be doing the same thing it I could. But don't act like you really want to hang out with me and then bring your boyfriends.

I love you all, and I mean that. And I love your boyfriends, I would let you know if I didn't. So in no means is this me being mad at you or anything. I'm just ranting as always. Life's unfair blah blah blah! You don't need to respond to this, especially if it's another, "Oh, don't worry you'll find someone!" I love you guys, but if I have to hear that one more time I'm going to kill a bitch! Feed back that I would like is your stories of your relationships. Long or short, good or bad I want to hear them all. Feel free to pass this on to anyone who you think needs to hear it.