I recently posted this article response on my facebook.
I find the New York Times article titled "The New Math on Campus" about college dating, specifically at Carolina, a little perturbing. There's no way I can think of to sum this annoyance other than to adress 8 quotes directly. I'd like to think most people would agree with me on this one.
http://www.nytimes.com/201
1) "The experience has grown tiresome: they slip on tight-fitting tops, hair sculpted, makeup just so, all for the benefit of one another, Ms. Andrew said, 'because there are no guys.'”
Response: This has ALWAYS been true. Men never notice every little detail of what women wear/do, only women notice that. Women need to do themselves the favor of getting dressed up for THEMSELVES, because if you're doing it for men it is a) not gonna help that much and b) stress your lack of confidence in yourself.
2) “My parents think there is something wrong with me because I don’t have a boyfriend, and I don’t hang out with a lot of guys”
Response: Do these same parents think there's something wrong with their sons for not having a girlfriend? Seems to me girls get a lot more pressure to find a partner earlier than men. Your daughter is in college, she is young and clearly smart, let her be a 21st century independent woman for while...pursuing Mr. Right doesn't necessarily make him show up faster.
3) Jayne Dallas grumbled that the population of male undergraduates was even smaller when you looked at it as a dating pool. “Out of that 40 percent of men, there are maybe 20 percent that we would consider, and out of those 20, 10% have girlfriends, so all the girls are fighting over that other 10 percent,” she said. Needless to say, this puts guys in a position to play the field, and tends to mean that even the ones willing to make a commitment come with storied romantic histories.
Response: This is an insulting to statement to one group of men...THE NICE GUY.
I COULD be wrong about this, but I'm just gonna guess that you're attracted boys who are particularly pretty and often immature/not as considerate of their relationship as they should be. Because the truth is, this "10% of men you would consider" left is probably the 10% you deem worthy of the time of day...not that you would ever notice the quiet guy who dresses kind of funny and strikes you as socially awkward. He may be all those things and he may not be, but he also may treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Problem is you'll never know if you don't make the effort to find out: is he really just a super weirdo, or is there a charming guy waiting to be noticed?
I'm not saying change who you're attracted too, or that all pretty boys aren't nice, but consider what you say before you say it when you talk about the percentage of available men.
4) As for a man’s cheating, “that’s a thing that girls let slide, because you have to,” said Emily Kennard, a junior at North Carolina. “If you don’t let it slide, you don’t have a boyfriend.”
Response: Two words girl: SELF RESPECT! You say if you don't let it slide you don't have a bf, I SAY if he cheats on you he's not much of a bf to begin with!
5) “Women do not want to get left out in the cold, so they are competing for men on men’s terms,” she wrote. “This results in more casual hook-up encounters that do not end up leading to more serious romantic relationships. Since college women say they generally want ‘something more’ than just a casual hook-up, women end up losing out.”
Response: Repeating response #4, SELF RESPECT! Get what you want and need on your terms...if you want a relationship, don't give the guy the whole package deal the minute you meet him!
6) “A lot of guys know that they can go out and put minimal effort into their appearance and not treat girls to drinks or flatter them, and girls will still flirt with them,”
Response: It saddens me that this is totaly true...eww.
7) “Guys tend to overshoot themselves and find a really beautiful girlfriend they couldn’t date otherwise, but can, thanks to the ratio,” said Austin Ivey. He himself said that his own college relationship lasted three years. “She didn’t think she would meet another guy, I didn’t think I would meet another girl as attractive as her,” he said.
Response: Double ewwww! Boy searches for particularly attractive girl, boyappears to pay little heed to anything other than said attractiveness, boy gets girl because girl thinks this is as good as it gets. Just eww.
8) In terms of academic advancement, this is hardly the worst news for women — hoist a mug for female achievement. And certainly, women are primarily in college not because they are looking for men, but because they want to earn a degree.
Response: FINALLY, a statement I can get behind!
To all undergrads, Carolina and beyond, we are pretty much all under 25 yrs old.
I quote the ultimately bad with one redeeming quote movie "The Sweetest Thing": Do not go looking for Mr. Right, go looking for Mr. Right Now. And sooner or later, if it's meant to be, that now part will just fade away naturally.
Tara K :)
