Why Don't You Just Settle! By: Ally

Feeling the Heat

This was my latest post on Facebook. I posted this right before I made the Blog.

So I've been thinking of making this into a Blog. However, I am a busy girl. Plus, lets face it, I'm only one type of single girl. I would say that I'm the stay at home romantic. So I was thinking that I should get more girls to help with more points of views (and adventures!). So this is a request for help that I'm sending out to Tara, Terri, and Natalie. Think about it ladies, between the four of us we are similar, but very different. We are different ages, go to different schools (or are out of school), and are in different places both in life and on the map. I feel that together we could make a very well rounded Blog. Not to mention you are all adorable so I know that it would translate into your writing. Let me know what you guys think!

Now to get to the point of this article! Why is it that women are pushed to find Mr. Right? I began to wonder this several weeks ago, but it was refreshed in my mind when my friend Tara Lowe wrote a note on an article that I'm guessing was published in her school paper.  Apparently someone wrote an article about college dating and the overall message seemed to be that if you (a woman) are not settling, you should!

The reason that I began to wonder about the pressure on women is because of my mother. Now don't worry, my mother really puts no pressure on me. That said, I do believe that my parents worry about me being in the dry spell that I am. A couple of months ago, my dad asked me to go with them to a church that we went to YEARS ago. We stopped going because they began to get too political. In fact they took advantage of my parent's hospitality. So why my parents wanted to go back was a mystery for me. Till my father continued on what advantages going to the church would have. He mention that I could go to this "singles" Sunday school group. He continued to say things like, I may meet a nicer guy if they were in a Sunday group. This may all be true, but my problem is that my FATHER is trying to set me up. This worry again reared it's head when my mother thought I said a boy's name one night when I was leaving to hang out with a female friend. She almost jumped for joy till I corrected her on the name.

It really isn't that uncommon for a girl my age to be single in our generation. I realize that this is not necessarily the case when my parents were my age. In fact they were engaged to each other at my age so I understand the difference and the fear that they may have for me and I still love them very much for it. That said, I don't understand people from our generation feeling the need to settle. The article that Tara posted on suggested things that were outrageous! Like letting cheating slide and staying with someone cause you feel that you may not get any other offers. The worse one was having casual sex with a man when you want something more just because it is all you can get. All of this will only lead to pain. Yes there are exceptions that live outside of the fairy tales. I've known of some women who started out as just casual sex and have now become long term girlfriends. The difference is, is that they wanted the casual sex, they weren't doing it to try and win a relationship.

My point is, don't settle! Do whatever you want with your lives, your young (yes you are)! Have some life experiences! LIVE!!! Don't be trapped by expectations. Go out, meet people. Don't just go to meet Mr. Right. I know that it happens for some people, but when you go to a bar or to a party don't expect to "meet" anyone. Lets face it, most of them are just there to hook up or are already there with someone. NOTICE: I said most for my male readers out there! When you go out, there is no shame in dressing up. If you want to feel pretty (as I know I generally do) then dress up. Go for it! But if you don't feel like dressing up then don't. No one is going to like you less for it. I mean if someone does happen to take a shine to you when your say in your sweats (don't go out in your sweats!) just imagine what they do when they see you dressed up.

In the past, I was not the person to ask about this sort of thing. I was all about being in a relationship. In reality, I was really unhappy the whole time because of it. Now, I have I guess you could say, embraced my single life. I can honestly say that I'm happy with the way my life is. Yes, I still have moments where I feel lonely and wish I had someone special in my life and yes, I still have moments where I dream about a perfect man. It's only natural for us to and there is nothing wrong with it. But if you let that loneliness and dream control your life, it's a problem. Besides, the likelihood that you are going to meet someone just sitting around your house feeling sorry for yourself are even less likely. Now if you go out and do the things you like, not only will you meet people, but you will meet people that you already have something in common with cause they are out doing what you like to do too. They may not be Mr. Right or even a Mr., but they will be someone that you can hang out with and feel a lot less lonely. Now if you want to go out and get laid, then go for it! More power to ya! There is nothing wrong with that either! Just be careful!!!

So to all my single ladies (and gentlemen) on the approaching couples holiday, if you are feeling lonely don't, cause there is someone out there feeling the exact same way. Whether they are male or female they are feeling the exact same way so give them a call. There is no law that says that just because you are not in a couple that you have to be alone. So call up that friend and enjoy them for who they are and forget about who their not.

P.S. if you feel that there is someone who needs/wants to hear this or any other of my postings, please feel free to send it to them and let me know to include them from now on.