The Query of the Engagement Ring

So for someone without any real prospects of getting engaged any time soon, I am utterly fascinated by the power of the engagement ring that most people never consider. I say this in two respects: 1) the sexist symbolism of the engagement ring and 2) the personality of an engagement ring which can make or break a relationship.

I'll start with item one. I feel like I should preface this by saying that I have always been gunning for that big, beautiful diamond. I'm a woman, I like shiny, pretty things, I want my ring!

BUT, with that being said, the nature of the engagement ring is highly sexist. Women wear an engagement ring as a way of saying to the world "I am off the market" before they ever actually enter into the legal and/or spiritual bonds of marriage. Men, however, do not do this. Instead they walk around for whatever amount of time they are engaged appearing no more taken than they were before they ever met their fiance. So why is it that a woman has to wear a "marker" of her taken status but a man doesn't? Why does she have to be inadvertently labeled as someone else's property but a man doesn't?

My solution: men get engagement rings too. You could say that we could abolish the engagement ring all together but I like the idea of a couple expressing their commitment to one another through a subtle yet visible piece of jewelry. I just think that if a man is willing to dedicate himself to wearing a wedding ring with his beloved, he should love her enough to show his commitment in the same way she does while they're engaged.

Item two: how intimidating is the engagement ring? I mean seriously, ladies, if a man gets down on one knee and opens the box to a ring you can't stand, what do you think? I guarantee you you're thinking "how does this man who thinks he knows me well enough to marry me not know me well enough to get me a ring that I like?" And as a man doing the shopping, I have to imagine a similar thought goes through his head. (Of course this assumes you are following the traditional gender roles of a man proposing to a woman). Basically, that little ring packs a whole huge punch of a message, and I can't help but think that's as intimidating as it is remarkable.

So there you have it ladies and gentlemen, a terrifying but hopefully thought provoking analysis of the all important engagement ring. But I do think in all of this it's important to remember that what matters most is each persons relationship and how each couple chooses to handle their level and expression of commitment. Just remember to be happy.