Do our relationships define us, or do we define our relationships? I'm sure it's different for everybody, but if one is unhappy with their current love life then it's a question that one has to ask. If your relationships define you, then you need to pick your relationships more carefully. If you define your relationships, then it is you that you have to change to be happy. I think it's hard for our relationships not to guide our future choices, especially our first relationship. I think it is something like the question of, "which came first, the horse or the cart?" or if you prefer "the chicken or the egg?" You can always rationalize either answer, but can you do the same for your relationships? You may think, well I chose who I want to date, but have you ever thought as to why you are attracted to that particular person? If you think, I just don't want to date the same person over and over again, do you still find that type of person attractive?
I am someone who's relationships define her. If your relationships define you, then you will never allow yourself to get into the same relationship twice. Ever since my very first boyfriend, I have never been able to date anyone like him. I can't even date someone who looks like him in any sort of way. I am instantly turned off by them if they bare the slightest resemblance. I think back to my past relationships over the last four years and you know how they always say that hind sight is 20/20. Well looking back I can't find a single one that didn't scream disaster from the start. That said, I have always been picky from the start. I've never like to think that I just jump into a relationship and I never like someone from the first meeting. I believe that love at first sight happens, but I'm not someone who has it. Maybe some day I will experience it, but I'm not going to sit around waiting for it. I always have to get to know someone before I would date them which kinda defeats the purpose. Maybe that's what I'm doing wrong, instead of thinking that I'm cautious, I'm actually jumping in. I'm not dating, I'm going straight into a relationship. That is what is wrong with my relationships. Not to mention that the guys that I jump with really counted to three and watched while I jumped all by myself. That said, I also have to ask myself that even though ever single one of these guys are completely different, is there something about them that caused them to end the same way?
If you define your relationships, you need to ask yourself why I pick those relationships? Most likely you need to sit down and figure that out about yourself before you can move on from these relationships that do nothing but hurt.
It goes without saying that your most important relationship is with yourself. If you fear that you being too independent keeps you from having a good relationship, then I would have to say that the people you are with are just too weak to deserve you. Once you figure out what makes you happy, then you can find someone who will share that with you. Course it has been my experience that finding that person is easier said than done!
I feel that this is subject is not done...lets see what is said about it and I may continue further.
